


Aunt Peggy

by disaster_by_chance



Series: Stony Oneshots [6]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: And Steve attempting to comfort, Civil War, M/M, Not A Fix-It, There's no established relationship between the two, because they're dumb that's why, but he can be an idiot so it doesn't work out, there's just angst, why can't they just talk???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22112317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disaster_by_chance/pseuds/disaster_by_chance
Summary: Steve gets a message about the passing of Peggy Carter, the first love of his life. He goes thinking he's going to be alone through it all, but he was wrong. Because Tony Stark happened to be blessed by Margret Carter as well.
Relationships: Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Stony Oneshots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589476
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Aunt Peggy

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again with an angst chapter, a shorter one this time, with an idea that hit me suddenly. I know this one kinda sucked, I had a lot of writers' block during it and I just wanted to get it done, so, unfortunately, you're stuck with this crap pile. 
> 
> Sorry.

"I gotta go." Steve announced, staring down at his phone blankly. He felt everyone's heads turn to look at him as he stuffed the phone back into his pant pockets as he blindly got up and walked out of the room. He had to get away, get away to _somewhere_ , he wasn't sure where that was. But he knew it had to be somewhere where nobody would be able to see him. Somewhere where he could hide, hide like a coward. They couldn't see him. Not like this.

However, he didn't make it far. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs of the Avengers compound, gripping the stair rail and trying to catch his breath. It wasn't that he was out of breath from going down the stairs, he's handled much worse, _no_ , he just couldn't seem to get further. His legs were shaking, threatening to give in and collapse under him, his chest was heaving as he took large breaths, closing his eyes tightly and trying to block out the noise over the new news.

Peggy Carter was _dead_.

His Peggy.

She was _gone_.

Steve knew that this day would come, it would've been childish for him to assume the love of his life was going to live forever. Death was a normal part of life. And Peggy lived a great life, as much as he was aware of. It was just that, did it have to be today? Did it have to be when he wasn't there? When he was with his team, arguing about what they were going to do about these Accords. Did it have to be today?

And that's why it hurt. He didn't really get to say goodbye. He should have visited her every day he could, at every moment that he was available, he should have been there for her. He should have been there when she took her last-

_Oh God._

He pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned against the stair rail, taking sharp, deep breaths. It had been so long since he'd been in such a distraught state, it just wasn't fair.

If he'd been there. If the team wasn't on the verge of falling apart. If things were just different. Then maybe, _maybe_ , he'd be okay with this. With saying goodbye. He wouldn't be hiding from his team at the bottom of the stairs in the middle of something of a mental breakdown. Maybe.

He'd still be upset, he'd still mourn. It was Peggy. She meant the world to him, and she still did. Steve had never met anyone quite like her. And she was especially something for her time period. Fighting for herself in a world that would very much have liked her to stand down and keep her mouth shut.

But that wasn't Peggy.

He felt a small smile tug on his lips despite the tears running down his cheeks as he remembered Peggy in all her greatness. How she punched Hodge on his first day when he tried to make advances on him. How she took the time to talk to Steve, be nice to him, be a friend. How she held such power for a woman, when most were working in the kitchen, totally obedient to their husbands. How she looked in the red dress, telling him that she was looking for the right partner. Peggy who fought for what she believed in and never gave up. Like Steve, she didn't back down from a fight. She was tough like that.

And Steve had to be tough now. For Peggy, he thought, rubbing his face with his hands as he was finally able to get his breathing under control.

For Peggy.

**-The Funeral-**

Steve knew it was going to be hard, so he was extremely grateful for Sam's presence. Sam didn't know her, Steve had only told him about Peggy, but still, he came. Because that's what friends did. When one friend was going through a rough patch, the other was there to have their back. And Steve was very grateful.

And it was hard. Hard to carry her coffin down the aisle. Even with his super soldier strength, he felt like he was going to collapse, his legs shaking with each step he took, closer and closer to the front of the room. He looked straight ahead, though he could feel everyone's eyes on him. He didn't even care if he was crying in front of all of them, his breaths short and shaky, as tears fell from his red, puffy eyes. He didn't care. Peggy meant a lot to him, he had a right to cry. It didn't even matter if he was "Captain America", without her, there'd really be no him. No Captain America who continually fought for what was right, for what he believed was right, no matter what others, like the government, said. It was her.

So maybe he lingered a bit after they set the coffin down at the front. Dragging his hand across the smooth exterior of the brown coffin, his fingers just grazing up against the British flag draped on the top. He knew he couldn't stay long, there were people who wanted to talk. The room was filled with people whose lives were impacted by Peggy in some sort of way, and it wasn't hard to believe that she had accomplished such a great feat as impacting all these people. Again, she was Peggy Carter. If she merely looked at you, you'd probably feel like your life changed in that moment.

But he had to sit back down, give other people the stage to talk about the legacy of Margaret Carter. He wasn't going to talk, he didn't think he'd be able to get through it, and nobody was forcing him to. He would much rather keep things to himself, what she meant to him. They didn't need to know. It was strictly between the two of them. Not him, her, and several hundred other people. Yes. That's how it was going to be. His Peggy was his. His own version. They didn't need to know.

He sat down on the front row next to Sam, his friend didn't say anything, he just gave Steve a comforting, reassuring smile. He didn't ask, "Are you okay?" because it was clear that Steve wasn't okay and Steve appreciated that.

He gave Sam a weak smile in return, to show him that he'd be fine, and turned his head to the front of the room where a priest took the stage and was talking. Most of what he was saying wasn't registering with Steve, in one ear and out the other, it just didn't stick with him. And as more people took to the stage and talked about Peggy, Steve realized that he wasn't really listening, he wasn't really paying attention. Instead, he'd been blankly staring down at the floor, at his hands in his lap, nervously rubbing them together and making fists, or he was just staring straight on ahead at the coffin. 

It was just sickening to think about it. He couldn't look away from the coffin, not with him knowing what lay in it, it was sick. It was terrible. It just made his stomach churn to think that Peggy, Peggy who was always taking a stance, was just _lying_ in there. She was so full of life, so much that this was just out of character. She wasn't someone who was going to be confined to a box, no, and certainly not this coffin. It was sickening. 

"And now, I would like to invite Sharon Carter to come up and say a few words," The words of the priest brought Steve out of his thoughts, along with the nudge of Sam, causing him to tear his glaring eyes away from the damn coffin, watching Sharon, his old neighbor, instead take the stage, walking up to the podium with such confidence, her head held high, her eyes just slightly red from the little crying she had done. It was almost similar to Peggy's sense of authority. Almost. 

Steve's expression softened as Sharon stood in front of the podium, taking a shaky breath as she looked around the room, her eyes meeting Steve's for only a second before she looked away. At this point, Steve had composed himself, had stopped crying, but seeing Sharon, the similarities she had to Peggy, the way she stood, her eyes, her aura, it was a little much and Steve found himself holding his breath. 

"Margret Carter was known to most as a founder of S.H.I.E.L.D." Sharon started, her voice barely holding it together, "but I just knew her as Aunt Peggy." 

Steve exhaled at these words, out of the corner of his eyes he could see Sam look at him, concerned, but he didn't say or do anything about it. He kept his eyes on Sharon and told himself to breathe every once in a while. There was just something about being at a loved one's funeral that caused you to forget how to breathe. 

This was the first time Steve was actually listening to what the person at the podium had to say about Peggy, it was the first time he was paying attention, _really_ paying attention at what they had to say. Maybe it was because he knew Sharon, or maybe it was because he knew that Sharon knew Peggy. She should've, she was her niece, it would make sense. So he listened, only looking away when Sharon admitted to not telling people they were related due to the fact that you just can't live up to Margret Carter. You just can't. 

Then she began to talk about how much Peggy had accomplished, and how she accomplished all those things in a time where a woman was merely regarded as property. And oh boy, did Steve _listen_. 

"She said compromise where you can. But where you can't, don't." She took a breath, "Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even though the whole world is telling you to move," Her gaze shifted from that of the crowd to Steve, and only Steve. "It is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say, 'No, you move.'"

In that moment, Steve felt a surge of emotions all at once. It was as if the ghost of Peggy had taken control of Sharon and was speaking words of wisdom directly towards Steve, as if she knew what was going on with the team and the Accords. It was almost unsettling at how much Steve needed to hear those words, but as much as it was unsettling, it was reassuring. Steve found a new hope. Hope in a reason to plant himself firmly into the ground and tell the world to move. Even if everyone else was for it, he was going to go against it. He knew in his heart the Accords to be wrong, and that's what he was going to fight for. Peggy would've wanted it that way. 

**-After the Funeral-**

Steve stood alone in the empty room of the church, his hands in his pant pockets as he looked on at the front of the church where snuffed out candles dripped wax and several bouquets of flowers were all sitting nicely in a pattern, fallen petals littering the stage. It was dead silent in the room, everyone had already gone. Steve just needed some time to process all of this, so he told Sam not to wait for him, for he and Sharon to just go and leave him be. He assured them he'd be fine, he just needed some... _time_.

In the few minutes of silent grieving, the sound of someone approaching brought Steve out of his state and he slowly turned around to see the approaching figure of Natasha Romanoff in a fine black dress, her hair done all nice. He let out a small sigh and turned, clutching the side of the pew for support as he leaned on it and nodded slowly, closing his eyes and drawing out his breaths. He should have seen this coming.

As she got closer, he decided to speak before she did. "When I came out of the ice," He started, his gaze down at his feet, "I thought everyone I'd known was gone." He looked up, not looking at Natasha, who was now standing by him, but at the empty stage. "Then I found out she was alive.." He trailed off, taking his eyes off the picture of her as he shook his head, "I was just lucky to have her.." His voice cracked at the beginning as he could feel himself getting emotional again. 

"She had you back too," Natasha reminded, her voice gentle and comforting, nodding in understanding to Steve's words. 

Steve nodded slowly, looking down at the ground. She was right, she usually always was. The voice of reason in their chaotic team. But on the topic of teams, and because Steve didn't want to dwell on all this mourning and pain, he took a breath and asked, "Who else signed?" It wasn't ideal to ask such a question, not with what Steve had just gone through, but it was to change the subject, maybe he could find another thing to cause him pain to distract him from the already gaping hole in his heart. 

Natasha's comforting smile at his question faltered, surprised at the question. Though she proceeded to answer, taking a breath and uncomfortably shifting around, "Tony, Rhody, Vision." She gave a small shrug before nodding her head and biting on the insides of her cheeks. It was clear to Steve that she too wasn't too happy with the whole Accords deal either. Steve would like to think that none of them were too happy about it. 

"Clint?" He asked.

Natasha seemingly froze up at the mention of her best friend before continuing with a blank look, "Says he's retired." She snapped out of her trance and looked to Steve, who was just now finally meeting her eyes as well. 

"Wanda?"

"TBD."

Steve slowly started to look down again, the reality of a possible split between the team finally starting to unwelcomingly settle down in his mind. 

"I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords," Natasha informed, "There's plenty of room on the jet." It was an invitation, for Steve to come with her, sign the Accords as well, because they both very well knew that Steve wasn't going to do so. But it was worth a shot. 

At her invitation Steve sighed and shifted about, clenching his jaw and keeping his gaze down to the ground as Natasha stepped forward, with more words to say, "Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path." At her words, Steve looked up at her silently, watching as she continued. "Staying together is more important than how we stay together." She was nodding quickly, a nervous smile on her face as she looked everywhere but Steve.

When she finally met his eyes Steve asked, "What are we giving up to do it?"

There was silence as the two heroes let this settle in. Natasha sighed and closed her eyes, shaking her head before opening them, looking down and then back at Steve. The other clenched his jaw and looked away, wishing it didn't have to be like this, that he could just agree with her and try to keep the team together if it meant giving up things. But he just couldn't do it. 

"I'm sorry, Nat," Steve muttered, shaking his head, "I can't sign it." 

"I know." She answered, her voice quiet, understanding, but hiding a layer of pain as she knew that this would ultimately tear the Avengers apart. 

Steve seemed a little surprised at this, going quiet before asking, "Then why did you come?" 

She tossed her head, moving some hair out of her face as she suppressed a smile. It was silent before she answered with, "I didn't want you to be alone." Her voice cracked only slightly at her words, the spy a little shocked at her own words and actions, but she'd learn to love her team, love them like a family, something she never really had, so of course she wanted to be there for them. If Steve needed it, and he did, she was going to be there for him. No matter what. 

Steve's expression softened and he nodded, looking down as Natasha stepped forward, putting her hand on his shoulder before pulling him in for a hug with a 'C'mere'. He let himself be hugged by her, wrapping his arms around her waist. It was comforting and he felt himself relax as he closed his eyes, not knowing how badly he needed a hug like this from a friend until now. It was nice. It was comforting. It made him feel a lot better. 

It didn't last long though, as she pulled away, giving him a small smile. With a sigh she nodded, having said and done what she needed to, there no need for any more words. She took Steve's hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go and walking away, having to catch her flight to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. 

Steve watcher her go, wishing that she could stay, or he could go. But he was going to plant himself firmly like a tree, he was going to stay to his morals and fight for what was right. Even if it did tear the team apart, if it created division between them, it was what had to be done. And they had fought before, in the past, but they always came back from that. Maybe this could be the same. And if not, Steve was sure they'd do fine without him. They would figure something out. Eventually. 

He turned back to the front, maybe needing a little more time. He walked over to the front pew and took a seat, leaning forward and clasping his hands together, in a prayer-like way as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. He wasn't really praying to God, per se, even if he was in a church and certainly looking like he was, but it was more of a prayer to anyone who would listen. Someone who would give him a sign to show him that what he was doing was right. He'd already gotten the sign from Peggy through Sharon's words, if maybe, just _maybe_ , he could have something else like that. Something that would help guide him onto the right path. 

"Didn't know you were religious." A voice spoke, startling Steve and making him quickly jolt up, opening his eyes and turning to the source of the voice that seemed to have come from next to him, in the aisle. 

A greater shock came to him when he realized that it was Tony. Tony Stark. Who was standing in the aisle, dressed for a funeral with a black suit and tie, save for the thick dark sunglasses he was wearing despite being indoors. His gaze was locked on Peggy's picture at the front, or at least Steve assumed since he couldn't see Tony's eyes because of the sunglasses, his hands in his pockets as he stood motionless, his jaw slightly clenched as if he was biting the insides of his cheeks. 

"Tony?" Steve asked, his expression filled with confusion, "What are you doing here?"

"Did you know that she couldn't cook very well?" 

"I-what?" Steve raised an eyebrow, rather thrown off by his comment. It wasn't an answer, but a plain statement as he looked still at the picture of Peggy with his arms folded over his chest in some mock hug or something. 

"She couldn't cook well," Tony repeated, still not looking at Steve. The blond wasn't even sure if Tony was talking to him, it was possible that the man was just thinking aloud. But still, Steve listened. "She couldn't cook well. But she was an excellent baker." He smiled just slightly, but as quick as it came it was gone again. With it, he looked away from the picture and uncrossed his arms, letting them drop to his sides as he looked around the church with a small sigh. "Yeah...She was an excellent baker." He nodded, his voice barely a whisper, a comment only for him to ear, though Steve picked up on it. 

Steve blinked and frowned, looking away from Tony and down at his clasped together hands as he leaned over, a silence settling between the two men. A quiet silence, one that wasn't awkward in the silence, but it wasn't a comfortable silence either. It was filled with heavy grief, words yet to be spoken, and hidden away pain. But the two stayed in that silence for the next couple of minutes. Tony's eyes now looking everywhere but Peggy's picture, Steve staring down at his hands clasped in pathetic prayer. Silence. 

"I'm going to sit down," Tony announced with a sigh, his sudden breaking of silence startling Steve, causing the blond to look up in confusion at the brunette who was now looking at him. "So, if you could..." Tony trailed off, making a motion with his hand, signaling the blond to scoot over so that he could sit on the pew as well. 

"Oh!" Steve's eyes widened in realization and he quicky, and awkwardly, scooted over just enough for Tony to have some space to sit down next to Steve. When Tony did sit down after muttering a 'Thanks' to Steve, the blond noticed how close the two were and he wasn't sure what to do. He could scoot over more, to give Tony some more space, but he didn't want to give the Tony the wrong impression. 

But while Steve was weighing out his options on what to do, looking rather stupid while doing it, his eyes staring at Tony blankly, jaw clenched, stopped midway in moving back more; Tony was back to looking at the front of the church, though his eyes still did not look at Peggy's picture, instead he stared at the flower wreaths, completely unaware of Steve's predicament. With a soft sigh, he brought a hand up to his sunglasses, and in one swift motion, he took them off and tucked them into his suit while rubbing his eyes with his free hand. He muttered something, and it sounded rather angry so it was just enough to break Steve out of his stupid debate with himself to look at Tony with slight concern. It became more concern when he saw Tony's eyes once the billionaire let his hand fall from his face, revealing red, puffy eyes. 

He'd been _crying_. 

Steve didn't know what to do with this kind of information, what to say or do, so he quickly looked away and decided to turn a little so that he gave Tony a little more space, but not so much that it seemed like Steve was trying to move away from him. At this point, he didn't want to upset Tony even more, but he wasn't quite sure why Tony was upset in the first place. It couldn't be the Accords, he'd already made up his mind with where he wanted to go with it. And he was Tony Stark, why would he be crying? Could it have been-

Steve's eyes slowly shifted over to the front of the room before realization hit him like a truck. He'd been so wrapped up in his own grief that he didn't realize that Tony _also_ knew Peggy. When Steve had told Peggy about his team, she went on and on about Tony. As she did, Steve sat, confused, on how she knew Tony so well. And it wasn't till she finished talking that she mentioned she had been an aunt of sorts to him.

So that's what it was.

Tony was hurting just as much as Steve was. 

"You didn't speak," Tony said suddenly, "I just noticed..." His voice went quiet as he slowly looked over at Steve, though the soldier could kinda see that Tony didn't want to for whatever reason. It could have been due to the fact that Tony had been crying, but he wasn't too sure. "Why didn't you speak?" He sounded almost hurt, it sent a jab of guilt at Steve's side. "All she ever did was talk about you," His voice was quiet, his gaze slowly shifting down to his hands nervously twisting in his lap. "and yet...You didn't have anything to say about her?"

Steve clenched his jaw at Tony's words, closing his eyes and breathing slowly through his nose. Those words hurt. Of course, they did because that wasn't true. Of course he had things to say about Peggy, he could go on and on about how much Peggy meant to him and on how amazing and empowering of a woman she had been, but he felt that it was something to keep to himself. Not something to be said allowed to people he didn't even know existed until today. All that he knew was that they were here for Peggy. Not for him. 

"I wanted to say something," Steve said finally after a long span of silence. He slowly opened his eyes and focused on Tony, who wasn't looking at him, but staring blankly down at his feet, his hand nervously running up and down his thighs, "Wanted to say something about how much she meant to me." His voice caught in his throat and now he was also looking down at the floor, his hands heavy on his thighs, "I-i couldn't bring myself to do it." He said, his voice barely audible, "I didn't want my Peggy to be everyone else's..." 

When Steve heard Tony scoff, his head shot up and he looked over at the man, his eyes narrowing into a glare. 

"Never took you to be a selfish person, Cap..." Tony muttered, shaking his head as a small smile tugged on his lips. 

"I'm not being selfish." Steve shot back, a lot harsher than he intended. But if he was being honest with himself, it was a little selfish of him to hold back on saying something about Peggy during the funeral, she had been the love of his life after all. 

"I'm not-" Tony stammered, glancing over at Steve, his smile quickly fading, "I-i'm not," He sighed and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, "I didn't mean it that way..." He muttered and drew a long breath before lowering his hand, leaning back into the pew and looking up at the decorated ceiling. "I get it. Where you're coming from." His voice was quiet, loud enough for Steve to hear, "You have an image of what she meant to you in your mind, in your heart, and you don't want that to be the image that others have of her. It's faithful." He nodded, his smile slowly returning as if he remembered a fond, distant memory. "I think she'd like that..." He went silent after those words before breaking out in a small chuckle that made Steve's chest fill with a warm sensation he was all too familiar with when it came to Tony, he just never wanted to admit it. "She would probably say that we were stupid for not saying anything..." He started again, his voice light and playful, though distant and quiet at the same time, "She'd call us idiots or something of the sort..." He sighed, happily this time, and folded his arms over his chest. 

Steve's expression relaxed, shifting into slight confusion as he looked away from Tony to that of the front of the church at the podium. With a small nod, he let out a sigh, "Yeah...Something of that sort..." It went silent again between the two men, the atmosphere a little less tense than what it had been before. But then Steve had to speak. "Why didn't you say something?" He asked, turning to look at Tony. He should have just left it, watching as Tony reacted rather negatively, his smile fading while he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. But Steve couldn't stop himself. "W-why...Why are you even here? Don't you have to go see about the Accords? When did you even get here? I didn't see you earlier, you just sort of...showed up." 

It went quiet again, the air tense and heavy as Steve bit down on his tongue, wishing he could've approached his questions a little differently than just blurting it out all onto Tony when they were both in that grieving state. 

"You think I came here because of the Accords?" Tony finally spoke, his voice deathly cold, almost a hiss, as his head snapped over at Steve, his eyes narrowed. "Think this is some sort of olive branch?" He raised his voice, motioning to the two of them with his hand, "I didn't come for _you_ , Rogers. I thought you of all people would understand, but I guess I was wrong." Steve flinched at the edge in Tony's voice. "She _meant_ something to me, just like she meant something to you." His voice cracked and Steve noticed a glint in Tony's eyes as tears threatened to spill. "S-she was the only one who really cared for me, t-the only one who was there for me when dad-" He stopped, taking a deep breath as he shook his head. He stood up suddenly, rubbing his face as he muttered curses. 

Steve frowned, feeling beyond guilty for breaking Tony like this. He opened his mouth to reply, a quiet, "Tony..." escaping from his lips.

"Oh! But you wouldn't know!" Tony continued, throwing his hands in the air before letting them drop to his sides, "Dad always thought you were great. The best." He rolled his eyes at his words, the hatred and resentment clear in his voice and cold glare. "Tony! Be more like Captain America! Why can't you be like him? Oh, right! Because you're not!" His words were harsh and all too loud for the quiet church. "Then I'd get a slap to the face and dear old dad would go off to drink some more." His voice went quiet again, a mutter, Steve barely caught it. 

"Tony," Steve started again, "I-"

"No," He shook his head, "you don't _get_ it." His voice was quiet, tears were running down his face but he constantly was trying to rub them away, he never liked it when he cried. "Howard was an ass. He never stopped talking about you. Comparing me to you. I hated it." He was quiet as his eyes glossed over as memories of Howard being drunk and taking out that anger on Tony with verbal and physical abuse. "I should have hated you." Tony muttered, his eyes to the ground, "And there were times where I did," He admitted, "But..." he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I couldn't." 

Steve looked up at him with a concerned frown, guilt piling up in his stomach at the thought of Howard comparing a small Tony to him. 

"I couldn't because," Tony continued, "every time something happened with Howard...I-if Jarvis wasn't there, if he couldn't do anything...She was there for me. To comfort me. Tell me that Howard really didn't hate me." He scoffed, "Can't believe I actually believed her...but..." he licked his lips and exhaled, "when she did comfort me...I asked about you. I asked to hear stories about the great Captain America. The one I could never hold a light to, in my dad's eyes." He glanced at Steve and quickly looked away. "She would tell me the stories. About you during the war. About you being all skinny." He went silent, staring blankly at the floor before speaking again. "She never compared me to you, like Howard did. When she did, it was something positive. She would say I was brave like you, to stand up to my dad. I was smart like you," He chuckled and shook his head, "though, she was wrong on that one." He looked at Steve, the mischevious and teasing sparkle in his eyes. 

Steve blinked before looking away with a small smile tugging on his lips, shaking his head at the teasing comment. 

"I came because I loved her." Tony said, his voice serious again, quiet, mourning, hurting. "She was one of the closets I've ever had to a mother. Or a parent even." He looked over his shoulder to the picture frame of her, smiling and in uniform. Truly beautiful. 

He let out a shaky sigh and looked away, his throat feeling dry as a new wave of tears came to his eyes. "Jesus..." He muttered, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand before tossing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. "I can't believe I just told you all that." He muttered, "You weren't supposed to know." 

"I'm sorry I asked," Steve finally spoke up, his head tilted up so that he was looking up at the standing Tony. It was a genuine sorry, as Steve's voice was filled with guilt, his expression equally concerned and upset. He really had no idea. It was just grief that made him ask such selfish questions. He should've known from hearing Peggy talk in the hospital about Tony, but in the moment, it slipped his mind. With everything going on with the Accords, he really thought it was just Tony trying to find a compromise. But, Steve guessed, he was wrong. 

"I don't want this Steve," Tony muttered, Steve almost missing it. The blond tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "I don't want whatever is going on between us to continue. The..the fighting, the arguing, and disagreements." He drew a shaky breath and rubbed his face. "Now that she's gone-" He choked on his words, stopping and crying suddenly. 

Steve's immediate response was to get up, wrapping his arms securely around Tony, as Natasha had done earlier, pulling him close to his chest. They both needed this comfort. It was clear when Tony responded by wrapping his arms around Steve as well, holding him just as tightly as Steve was holding him. Both men needing each other to reassure them that things would be okay, that the other was there in the moment, no one was going anywhere. 

Steve let Tony cry. And he cried a little himself too. 

Once the two were done, both stood in silence with red, puffy eyes, holding each other close in the quiet, little church. Tony was resting his head on Steve's chest, staring out blankly down the aisle, as Steve's eyes were up to the front on Peggy's picture, his hand running up and down Tony's side in a comforting and soothing action. 

"I don't want to fight." Tony said quietly, breaking the silence. "I don't think she'd want us to fight either," He shifted around a bit, moving so that he was also looking over at Peggy's picture as well. "I came to see her go, but I knew you were going to be here too." His voice was quiet and Steve listened with his eyes closed, his hand stopping it's motions, resting on Tony's shoulder. "And I know you've made up your mind," He looked up at Steve, tearing his eyes away from her picture, "but...God, I didn't want to do this..." He muttered, biting the insides of his cheeks. He took a breath, Steve opening his eyes and looking down at the smaller man, "I-i just want you to reconsider. Reconsider your choice to stand against the Accords. We need you Steve..." There was a pause. " _I_ need you..."

"Tony-"

"Please Steve," Tony interrupted, "Think about it?"

"I did, Tony," Steve said, bringing a hand up to Tony's face to gently push away some stray strands of hair out of Tony's eyes. "She would want me to stand up for what I believed to be right. And not signing the Accords? That's the right way to go...I just..." He sighed and shook his head, now gently cupping Tony's cheek, the genius just barely leaning into his touch. "I just wish you could see that that's the right thing. The way to go..." His voice was almost a whisper now, eyes locked on Tony's. "I-i don't want to fight either," He admitted, "but if that's what I have to do..." 

Steve dipped his head, closing his eyes as he brought Tony towards him. Their lips barely brushed against each other when suddenly Tony pulled away, putting a hand on Steve's chest to distance them. 

"Don't." He said firmly, his voice full of hurt. 

Steve slowly opened his eyes and frowned, his gaze traveling down to Tony's hand on his chest, pushing him away, before finding their way back into Tony's eyes. A stab of guilt gutted his side as he saw the pain, hurt, and shame in Tony's eyes, Tony's beautiful brown eyes, looking right back at him. 

"Don't," Tony repeated, shaking his head. "Don't do this to her..." 

It took Steve a minute to realize that Tony was talking about Peggy. That the 'her' was referring to Peggy. The first love of his life. And now, here with Tony, with the current love of his life, hours after the funeral for the first, Steve understood what Tony was trying to say by stopping the kiss. He didn't want Steve to move on so quickly. 

"Don't do this to me." Tony added, his voice even quieter than before, laced with heartbreak as he stepped back, taking his hands off Steve and wrapping them around himself. "Don't try and play with my emotions, Rogers...Y-you don't want to sign the Accords? That's fine." He let out a dry chuckle, "You're an adult, you can make your own choices. But just..." He blinked, tilting his head back, "J-just don't do this to me, okay? I don't have her anymore to comfort me after someone hurts me." 

"Tony-" Steve reached out for him, but the other flinched, pulling back and walking past him. 

"I have to go." Tony said coldly, not even looking back at Steve. "There's some Accords that need ratifying. But I do hope I answered all your questions on why I was attending the funeral of a loved one. Of my Aunt." He cast one last look at the front. "Ah," He nodded, "Goodbye, Steve." 

He turned and left, his footsteps echoing off the walls of the empty church. Leaving Steve alone again. So, so, so alone. Alone and hurting. Alone and in pain. 

"Tony..." He whispered, his arm falling limp to his side. 

"I'm sorry..." 

It was on that day that Steven Grant Rogers lost both loves of his life. 


End file.
